Expensegate: Naming a Scandal

The British political system has been thrown into disarray by a series ofallegations in The Daily Telegraph that some members of parliament may have abused their expenses claims.

Reports that MPs claimed for “essentials” such as dog-food, massage chairs, and even moat cleaning have beggared public belief. The sight of MPs apologizing, offering to make repayments and explaining that their claims were “within the rules” has cut little ice with the electorate, not least because the MPs made these rules.

Some allegations – such as that MPs claimed for mortgages that had already been paid off – may in time be the subject of investigations by the tax authorities and the police.

Writing in The Guardian, Simon Hoggart noted that this scandal – which has already destroyed a number of careers – has no decent name:

What this expenses scandal needs is a nifty title. The Case of the Phantom Mortgage has a nice Sheridan Le Fanu ring to it, though on the long side. Somewhere in the data there must be a bill for a rustic hearth in a former partner’s home repaired at the taxpayers’ expense: that would give us Late Mate’s Slate Grategate.

The controversial British blogger Guido Fawkes (the nom de guerre of Paul Staines) took up Hoggart’s challenge and solicited ideas from his readers. Some of their (Safe For Work) suggestions include:

Sorry-its-all-been-a-terrible-mistakegate · The Re-moat Parliament · Profli-gate · Moatsandbeamsgate · Tufflegate ·The Last Goodbuy · Troughligate · The Troughalypse ·Aporkalypse Now · Grand Theft Politico · Traitors gate ·Obfusgate · The Great Gravy Train Robbery · The Louses of Parliament

Another suggestion is that the current class of MPs be called the “Manure Parliament” – a reference to one politician’s alleged claim for horse manure for his garden.